A postscript to Suicide Awareness Month

Trigger Warning: Suicide and suicidal ideation

Orpheus and Eurydice by Edward Poynter, 1862. Image credit:  wikimedia commons

September was National Suicide Awareness Month (in the US, but I chose to adopt it for the UK). I posted a series of 4 attempts to bust some of the key myths about suicide – and offer some advice about what to do instead – links to those are at the foot of this article.

One of the potential pitfalls of any awareness day, week or even month is that – once it’s all over – it can be easy to stop being meaningfully aware of the subject in question.

A few last things about suicide and suicidal ideation – even though we are no longer in Suicide Awareness Month:

1) Dealing with the fallout to those tricky discussions

• If you have been there for someone struggling with ideas of suicide, self-harm or other mental health struggles, recognise you might need to decompress or offload things.
• It can be common to hyperfocus on things you said or did, and worry that you have caused harm or could have helped more – recognise that you did what you could, that it was a little nerve inducing. Debrief with someone if you need to.
• If you ever find yourself in the devastating position of losing someone to suicide, know that the bereavement is real and complicated. There is a fantastic organisation called Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide who can offer help and support.

2) Look after yourself
Seriously.

• Look after yourself with the same care and attention to detail that you offer a loved one.
• Celebrate when things are good.
• Dare to be appropriately proud of things.
• Be kind when things are harder.
• Be honest about your capacity.
• Do what you can, and try not to worry too much about what you can’t.
• Get help where you can, for the things you can’t.
• Talk to people you trust about things that are important.
• (Maybe even get a wellbeing coach? I don’t know, just a random idea to put out there…)
• If you feel over-stretched and under-hoped, talk to someone about it.

3) Let’s work together to challenge and change the systems and structures that remove help and hope

• Poverty
• Abuse
• Discrimination and bullying
• Reduced access to health care
• Loneliness and isolation
• Stigma and othering

You may feel ill-equipped to do many on the last list, I appreciate that.
But have a quick think about the places you live and work:

• Who might be struggling?
• Who might need their voice heard?
• Who might value being seen?

Other Myths in the series:

Myth 1: “Only certain types of people have suicidal ideas”

Myth 2: “You just never know…” and “these are the things to watch out for that definitely mean…” if someone is feeling suicidal and/or has plans.

Myth 3: “The simple set of reasons behind suicidal thoughts”

Myth 4: “You must never talk to someone about suicide“